5.27.2005

Familiarity.

As I made my way from one set of giant Bendo figures to the next, I paused each time to look outward – beyond the area where everyone was gathering. There was nothing. All I saw were people arriving from the distance to join the bizarre celebration. No one was leaving. In fact, aside from those individuals dotting the landscape, it was basically bare. The dry and cracked ground stretched all the way to the horizon, seemingly to infinity.

All of the sudden, I heard someone shouting from the distance. “I may be a lot older than you, but I can still kick your ass!”

“Yeah, how do you expect to do that when you can’t even see me?” another person exclaimed from the same vicinity.

That exchange naturally grabbed the attention of everyone around, and a gentleman standing next to me got a big smile on his face as he began running over to witness the fight. “It’s finally beginning,” he uttered with confusing joy.

“Just because I’m blind doesn’t mean I can’t see you,” the first guy continued to yell. “I have much more than eyes on my side, friend!”

The more I listened to him, the more his voice sounded strangely familiar. Of course I wasn’t just going to stand there wondering what was going on, so I headed over to check it out too. People were crowded around the conflict, cheering and hollering, and they were packed together so tightly that I could barely get a glimpse of what was going on. Eventually, a big sigh from the crowd followed by their almost immediate dispersion indicated to me that the conflict had reached its quick. I looked down at the two involved and was extremely to see a familiar face helping his fallen adversary to his feet.

“That was good,” the defeated man said kindly. “Refreshing. Exhilarating. Thank you very much.”

“You’re welcome,” said the man that I instantly recognized to be my former traveling partner, Etand Lebenstraum. It was definitely him, but he looked more weathered, ragged and poor-spirited than what I remembered. “We both needed it,” he told the other guy. They exchanged a brotherly hug and firm handshake before walking away. Dumbfounded, I followed closely behind Etand.

“Etand?” I asked. “Etand Lebenstraum?”
“Yes?” he answered.

I wasn’t sure if he still knew who I was, so I changed my intended direction of the conversation. “What was that all about?” I asked him.

Etand stopped and turned to face me. “This,” he said as he pulled out a pipe and bag of some kind of organic material for him to smoke. It left me quite surprised.

“You smoke?” I asked, at which point he held the objects even closer to my face.

“What do you think?” he replied as he fired up the pipe.

I coughed when he exhaled toward me. This wasn’t the same Etand that I remembered. Something about him had changed. “What is that stuff?” I continued, but Etand said nothing. Instead, he just resumed walking away from me.

“Etand, it’s me, Evan!” I exclaimed as I went after him. “Don’t you remember me…from the cabin and the forest?”

“Of course I remember you, Evan,” he revealed. “Did you come her with Soren?”

“Soren?” I repeated. I then looked upward to see Soren urinating on one of the big Bendo things, his back to both of us.”

“You thirsty?” Etand asked me.

“Yeah, actually.”

“There’s water over there in that cooler,” he indicated while gesturing to a large rectangular box near Soren. “Be careful though. He’s fiercely protective of it.”

“Who, Soren? Why, does he want to feed it to his ‘dog’?” I inquired sarcastically.

“No, stupid, he doesn’t want anyone else to have any.” Etand pointed out.

Ignoring his advice, I calmly approached the cooler and proceeded to reach inside for some water while Soren still had his back turned. Well, that must’ve awaked a sixth sense in him or something, because no sooner than I reached in did Soren run up and slam the lid down hard, almost right on my fingertips.

“MINE!” he shouted. Soren could talk?! He’d never said anything up to that point that I could remember.

“See? I told you,” lectured Etand.

Suddenly, someone else approached from behind me. “Don’t fool with that crazy kid,” said a familiar female voice. “If you want something to drink, I know where you can quench your thirst.”

I stretched my neck to see Lucidia standing directly behind me, heavily glammed up and wearing next to nothing. “Luci, what are you—

“You’ve got to do something for me, though,” she indictated.

Etand piped up. “Don’t mess with that whore,” he told me. “I’m warning you.”

“Oh, ignore that old fool,” she answered. “Come with me.”

I followed Luci to an area with several other people her age that all looked as if they had rediscovered a warped revisited vision of their youth. “Why are you guys here?” I asked her. “Did you come with them?”

“Me? No, I wouldn’t be caught dead with the like of them. We each arrived here of our own volition, as I’m sure you did.

That may have been, but what digressive path did each of them walk down to become the people that stood before me? Judging from their appearances and odd behavior, I’d say they haven’t quite experienced the same journey I remembered, but maybe I was just remembering it wrong.

I honestly didn’t know what to think. Somewhere along the way to this place, I changed. We all changed…some for bad, others for worse. As much as I continued to ponder on it, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to fit in here. What was my role among all of these bizarre individuals? Mediator?...Observer…Participant?... Maybe I was a little bit of everything.

Then I realized that was it. Along the way, I had developed a combination of weirdo, ass-hole and slut that merged with all of my good qualities to make me the “well-rounded person” I now was. I didn’t recall being in a position like this since my college years. Now I knew why. I didn’t want to give in to peer pressure or any of the reservations I had about my own self control. It just wasn’t in me before.

“Yo, can I hit that pipe?” I asked the Rasta-looking gentleman on my left-hand side.

“Ya, mon.”

I took the pipe and fired that puppy up with a little help from my friends.